What You Need To Know Before You Get Married

Cultural trends are bizarre sometimes. With the rise of individualism and secularism, our parents decided that staying in an unhappy marriage was pointless. We've been told to be careful about rushing into marriage, and we're getting older. Now we've realised the loneliness and social destructiveness of individualism, and are starting to rush back into marriage. To avoid a pendulum swing, this article deals with what your parents should have told you about marriage.

There are entire books about this topic, and whilst I think they’re generally good, perhaps they’re a bit too long, and don’t really get to the point. If you’re thinking of getting married, you probably wouldn’t change your mind unless there was a BIG reason to not get married. So let’s go through the big stuff. If you have thought about all of these things, yet still want to get married, then you’ve greatly increased your chances of marital success.

There will be times where you’ll wish you weren’t married

You need to be prepared for these moments. You’re probably not always going to be happy with your decision. In fact, it’s possible that you may never be entirely happy with your decision. You will need to face this reality at some stage if you’re going to live up to your wedding vows and love your partner for life!

A great question to ask is: Am I willing to love my partner and stay in the marriage even if I don’t want to be married anymore?

However difficult you think marriage will be; it will be more difficult.

No one would get married if they knew how difficult it was. Then again, everyone would get married if they knew how great it can be!

It’s really easy to think that your relationship is bullet-proof; especially if you’ve read a lot of books, or you never fight, or you know each other inside-out. Every relationship is unique, and some relationships simply seem to rock solid. Marriage seems to break apart that rock for most people; especially for those who want to constantly become more loving and intimate, and grow both individually and relationally. And we definitely recommend that!

Marriage means “Love for life, no matter what”.

This is the main point. You really need to think through whether you’re willing to remain married and love your partner even if:

- You change your mind
- You fall ‘out of love’
- Your partner changes drastically
- Your partner becomes ill
- Everything you assumed marriage would be like was false
- Your partner no longer loves you

Marriage is a MASSIVE commitment. Most (if not all) of us who get married don’t fully realise how big it is until after the wedding. However, facing these realities forces you to grow, and think about what it means to truly love another.

So what should your parents have told you? Rather than telling you not to rush into marriage because you might be unhappy in your marriage, they should have told you to be prepared to endure unhappiness in your marriage. So why get married? Check out our article: why would anyone in their right mind get married?. Marriage is a fantastic commitment. We wish you well!