The Relationship Between Adopted Children And Parents

Adoption is a concept that brings intoxicated, neutral and panicky emotions from the public. Nobody knows the origin of the practice of adoption. However we can see the instances of adoption as early as in mythologies. The relationship between the adopted child and her/ his parents has always evoked curiosity in the public. There are profound truths behind the concept of adoption and this article tries to throw light on the relationship between adopted children and their parents

There are approximately 62,00,000 adopted children all around the world. There are many reasons for this increasing number children placed for adoption. In many countries where unwed motherhood is unacceptable and scandalous, mothers make an adoption plan for their infants. In some other cultures parents abandon their babies of unfavorable gender. Many of the biological parents who are unable to take care of their babies due to financial pressure, family pressures and societal pressures find adoption an easy option for the well being of the baby.

On the other hand the major reason for adopting a baby for many couples is that they are naturally childless. They might be infertile to have a baby of their own. They might also be unwilling to choose a surrogate or a sperm donor. People who have lost their partner and do not want another partner also prefer adoption. Single people and a same-sex couple often adopt to have a baby of their own.

One of the hurdles that first meet parents who wish to adopt a baby is the unawareness of the Adoption Act and the places from where they can adopt a baby. The jurisdiction to become adoptive parents varies from one country to another. The potential adoptive parent will generally be assessed for suitability through interviews, financial, medical and criminal checks. Adoption Act encourages the adoptive parents to adopt the children of the same race. However they must keep in mind that the purpose of the Adoption Act is to ensure their child's best interests. The Adoption Act legally ensures the rights of the parents. The couple can adopt the child from private or licensed adoption agencies or from the birth parent or legal guardian of the child. Once the Adoptive parents and their child reach home they can see that the world has changed all around them and they have to prepare for a loving relationship.

Studies prove that certain factors hamper the relationship with an adopted child and parents. The abuse and neglect towards the adopted child is dramatically higher from the parent' s relatives and public. When a grown up child realizes that they are adopted, might undergo trauma, wherein they feel that their identity is challenged. They may also find difficulties to find a companion of their age, since many parents discourage their children from mingling with the adopted children. The adoptive parents are sometimes emotionally shattered when their kids' express their desire to reunite with their biological parents. Another factor that strains the relationship between the adopted children and their parents is the birth of biological children. Most of the parents and adopted children stand helpless in failing relationships without knowing what to do.

Once the adoptive parents and children enter their new lives, they must learn to regard each other as their own children and parents. They must know that even though they are not related biologically, they can get connected strongly through love and affection. Their relationship must be based on love and trust as same as the relationship between any natural parents and children. It is strongly suggested that the adoptive parents must tell their children the truth about their adoption. They should break the news in such a way that their children understand are not hurt. This must be done at an age, which is not too early at the same time, not too late.

Moreover honesty of parents will develop a good bond with their children. Even if the children are upset with the truth in the first instance, they will recuperate and accept the truth.

The adoptive parents should ward off the negative remarks towards their children and must assure the kids that they are always there to love them. The adoptive parents can also adopt a brother or sister for their first adopted baby. In that case the adopted children will be assured that they will have a companion and their parents love them as their own. They will come to realize the truth through their adopted sister or brother that they are not a minority, who are deprived of their biological parents.

Parents must celebrate birthdays of their adopted children and if the exact birth date is not known, they can celebrate the homecoming day as the birthdays of their children.

The relationship between the adopted children and their parents are most strained by the appearance of the biological children or parents. Children will often feel insecure or neglected by the birth of a baby to their parents. Parents on the other hand fear that one day the biological parents of their children might appear and claim their child.

An easy method for these troubles in relationship is an open talk. Parents must talk to their adopted children that the newborn baby is their brother or sister and that there is no difference between them. They must treat both the children equally and encourage their relatives or friends to do the same.

Teenage adopted children on other hand will be more curious to know about their biological parents. At the same time they must ensure their love and confidence to the parents. The adopted children and parents can build a strong love relationship through these open conversations.

The completeness for the merger is completely in the hands of the adopted children and their parents. They must realize that their relationship is the most special addition to their lives. This understanding will eliminate the pain that some adopted children and their parents experience at some point in their lives.