The Best Ways To Help Your Children Live With Separation & Divorce
Many parents find it difficult to respond to the needs of their children just when they need extra emotional support and attention because divorce can be such a painful experience. The best ways to help your children live with separation & divorce is for you to learn to manage your own feelings and new circumstances. The challenges that you may face as you go through the process of separation and divorce are difficult and it is important to build a support network to help yourself manage better. Many other parents in similar circumstances have moved on and helped their children move on along the way.
The process of separation and divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in an adult's life - socially, emotionally and financially. Can you imagine what your children are going through? Most parents are so unprepared even when they think they are, for all of the challenges and adjustments they may face, including:
1. Changing homes, neighborhoods and schools, this may lead to a sense of instability and the loss of relationships and support systems.
2. Economic changes - two households cost more to maintain than one. Some parents may face a sudden financial crisis.
3. You might have difficulty concentrating on your job. On the other hand, you may submerge yourself in work, especially if your children are not living with you.
4. If your children are not living with you, you may feel as if you've been cut off from their lives.
5. If you have the primary role in caring for the children you may have increased demands and responsibilities. You probably don't have enough hours in the day to spend time with your children, let alone find any time for yourself.
You can see why with all the pressures of divorce, parents are under great stress. So it's very important for you to make time to take care of yourself. Try to schedule time for activities that you enjoy, whether it's a hobby, something physical or simply reading a book. Allow yourself to break away from the obligation of having to do and simply be for a few minutes every day. This will help you regain your sanity, balance and health. This will definitely give you a better outlook and will help you stay on top of the daily stresses of work, children, friends, family, money and the separation or divorce.
Here are a few suggestions for activities to treat yourself to:
- take walks
- play photographer with your children
- sing really load to a song you love
- jump on a trampoline
- colour
It is important to reach out for guidance, support and insight to help reduce the tension and the feelings of isolation and depression that usually go along with separation and divorce. By reaching out to support systems, you are teaching your children a priceless lesson in life and that is that we all need help sometime.
Learning from and leaning on others is a vital part of living. Remember that when you reach out for support during separation and divorce that this will make you better prepared to respond to the needs of your children. Knowing more about how children, at each stage and age of development, experience separation and divorce will help too. Divorce and separation is tough for everyone involved. Your children are the ones that are helpless and incapable of getting themselves through it. You are their voice, their hope and you can help them adapt to the changes involved and move forward in their growth and development. Your children need you to be strong. The best ways to help your children live with separation & divorce is to make yourself strong and be the parent...let them be the children..the way it's supposed to be.
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