Realistic Expectations

“How romantic, I wish I too have such a lover, such a relationship”.

Most of us are fascinated by the love affairs of others. We expect a relationship to be filled with love and passion. We often feel that in a relationship the couples will be holding hands and spending the whole day looking into the eyes of each other. No fights, no arguments and only love, just perfect for each other. We too desire such a relationship, something what we see outwardly. Are we being realistic? No, it is the public image of a relationship. There is a lot of hard work put in that relationship to keep it happy and strong.

In the beginning of a relationship every thing seems to be rosy and sweet. Everything goes well and in a smooth way. You are happy with each other and in deep love. You find your world to be bliss. There is romance and love. With the passage of time all that love and romance vanishes away and you are left with conflicts, arguments and bitterness. You are disappointed. The reason behind it is our unrealistic expectations.

Your lover is not a superhero do not expect him to get moon from the sky neither your lover is a superwoman don’t expect her to be a magician. None of us are perfect. All of us have some faults and defects in us. We should learn to accept people with their faults and respect for what they are.

Whenever we get into a relationship we have great expectations from each other. We look out for all we thought and expected from our partners. Mostly we face disappointments as we expect too much from our partners and are unrealistic in our expectations. This often leads to a split in a relationship. Do not expect your man to hold your and keep loving you all day he has to go to work. Do not expect your woman to be working all day in the house she has her career to pursue. You have to be realistic in your approach and not live completely in a romantic world.

After you have a child your life becomes more demanding. You have added responsibilities. To have the same expectations of life filled with love and romance as during courtship is unrealistic when you become parents. There are more responsibilities to be filled in less time. You cannot avoid the work and time to be spent after your children. This automatically means spending less time with your spouse and less of romance. You should not be disappointed but be practical and whenever possible take out time for each other.

You should learn to understand your partner and know him/her well. You should be aware of the shortcomings of your partner. You should know the drawbacks of your partner. Do not expect him or her to that which you know is not possible for your mate.

You should learn to separate romance from reality. This does not mean that there should be no place for romance in a relationship but that you should also learn to be a realistic. Never ignore the reality and come out from your world of dreams. High and unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment.