Preparing For The First Days Of School

Whether your child is a creature of habit or lives for change, starting school is a big deal!

Going off to preschool or kindergarten is an important milestone for both you and your child. It may be her first step away from home or a transition to a new setting and friends. Even the return to a familiar program has its excitements, pleasures, and anxieties. At the 3-, 4-, and 5-year-old stages of development, "change" can bring a multitude of feelings and thoughts. Some children accept and enjoy change more than others. But it's not unusual for even the most "experienced" child to need some extra attention during the first days and weeks of school. Here are a few simple steps you can take along the road to a great new year!

At the Start of the Year

• Visit the school or classroom before the first day. Some teachers invite families to visit ahead of time. If not, take a trip to the school to see the building and the playground. You might also consider inviting the teacher to come to your house.

• Read good books about starting school. Literature is a great way to prompt a discussion about going off to school.

• Talk to your child about his feelings about school, friends, teachers, and new activities.

• Practice, practice, practice! Learning how to get ready each morning for the trip to school takes time and practice. It's helpful to practice this before the actual first day. Pretend it's a school day and go through the steps of getting up, dressed, fed, and out the door. Your child will become familiar with the process and will feel more comfortable and confident on the first day. Remember to allow plenty of time on the first day because it will always take longer than you imagined! Try this printable chart to help your child remember all she needs to do.

• Rehearse self-help skills such as dressing, undressing, and hand washing. Your child will feel more confident when she's asked to do these things at school.

• Make a portable family album. You can't stay with your child all year, but your photos can! The process of making a photo album together is a bonding and comforting project. Use a small, soft plastic album (available at most dollar stores) that can be easily washed, carried, and kissed!

• Ask your child what kind of snack she wants to bring. Shop together for the ingredients and engage her in the making and packing of the snack.

• Go school shopping. Back-to-school clothes and items are popular with little guys as well as big. It's not too early to start the ritual of shopping for special school outfits or a backpack. It doesn't have to be something expensive. Even a "new-to-you" item will have meaning when it is designated especially for back to school.

• Create a special goodbye routine. Your child will be comforted by having a predictable routine for saying goodbye when it's time for you to leave her at school. This can be a special wave, wink, kiss, or anything you and your child create. Use this as a signal that it's time for you to go and for her to get involved in class.

Share Your Child with the Teacher

The teacher has many new children to meet and greet. It's helpful to share a snapshot of your child with the teacher. If you can't talk with the teacher before school, try writing a note describing your child's interests, likes, dislikes, special strengths, and favorite family traditions. Communicate what you know about his temperament. For example, perhaps he's uncomfortable in large groups, or has difficulty sitting still for a long period of time. Maybe he's shy at first or has a temper at times. It's helpful to let the teacher in on all of this. Then throughout the year, continue to keep the teacher informed of upcoming family events, a period of sleeplessness, or anything else that may affect your child's mood and behavior. Just by knowing a bit more about your child, the teacher will have an easier time connecting and communicating with him. This also helps the teacher anticipate and minimize conflicts and keep small problems from developing into big ones.

The Challenges of Going Off to School

It's helpful to consider the challenges your child faces this year from a child's-eye view. One way to do this is to kneel down and look at the room from your child's height. Wow ... there's so much to see and do! When your child enters a new room she sees many wonderful toys and children to play with. It can be exciting and overwhelming all at once. Stay close and take your cues from both your child and her teacher. Many teachers will encourage staying with your child at first so the two of you can explore this new environment together. Help her find where the bathroom is as well as a special place to play. After a guided tour your child may feel more comfortable about joining the group.

Perhaps the biggest challenge your child faces is in learning how to become a member of a group. In the preschool and kindergarten years, children tend to be very self-focused and can have difficulty learning how to share, take turns, or wait for others. Preschool and kindergarten requires patience, flexibility, communication, responsibility, and the ability to listen. These important social and emotional skills are the "first work" of the year and will come with practice. Remember, the teacher does not expect your child to have these skills in place on the first day! Instead, she views them as the "work of childhood" and the skills she will help your child develop throughout the year.

About the Author

Ellen Booth Church is a former professor of early childhood, a current educational consultant, keynote speaker, and author.