Older Woman Loving A Younger Man

By Anna Lynn C. Sibal

Perhaps nothing else raises more dirty jokes or indignant, critical eyebrows than a relationship between a younger man and an older woman. In the mind of society, she would only be one of a few things: a vamp, a sugar momma, a wilting flower desperately needing to be watered, among others. He, on the other hand, would be the boy-toy, the Peter Pan, or a “scientist” fiddling with his experimental subject.

The subject of a relationship between an older woman and a younger man has been vilified over and over in popular media. Among the most notorious of the fictional characters Hollywood has ever produced to illustrate such a relationship is Anne Bancroft’s Mrs. Robinson, who pursued Dustin Hoffman’s Benjamin Braddock in the 1967 movie The Graduate. Another popular depiction of such a relationship between an older woman and a younger man is the one shown between Christ Ostreicher (Chris Klein) and his schoolmate Stifler’s mother in the American Pie series. There are just some people in society who look down on romantic relationships between older women and younger men, perhaps more than they do relationships between older men and younger women.

For ages now, we have been fed with so-called scientific facts that men are hard-wired to seek women their age or younger for reproduction purposes, while women instinctively look for men their age or older for financial and emotional support. Thus, what is the deal with these developing relationships between older women and younger men?

Some say that older women seek the company of younger men because of the energy these younger men still possess. Younger men are generally spontaneous and fun to have around. Also, younger men can be malleable and are sometimes seen as lacking the hang-ups and bloated egos of men who are older.

On the other hand, younger men find older women attractive because they are more mature and more experienced in life. Older women are more interesting to talk with because they are more knowledgeable. Older women also know what they want and are not afraid to get what they want. In addition, they are more stable and far less insecure than women much younger than them.

Do relationships between older women and younger men really work, and do these relationships have the capacity to last for a long time? The answer is: it depends on the two people involved in the relationship. No matter how we look at it, a relationship between an older woman and a younger man has the same dynamics as a relationship between an older man and a younger woman, or one between two people of the same age. The only difference is the age gap.

Just like in any relationship, compatibility is the key to the success of a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. Another key is the willingness to compromise. A romance between an older woman and a younger man will have its own special challenges. The question is, would these two people be willing to work hard to make their relationship work? Only the two people involved can answer that in the end.