How To Cultivate Love

Whether it’s romantic love, familial love, friendship love or simply love for the great, grand universe, practicing these steps daily will infuse your life with more love than you ever thought possible.

Step 1:

Fall in love with life. The other day I asked a friend of mine if he is the type of person who falls in love easily. He replied, “Are you kidding? I fall in love with all of humanity every day.” It’s no wonder this guy has an abundance of loving relationships. His heart is wide open, ready to give and receive love.

Step 2:

Accept that love has nothing to do with another person. Love is the condition of your own heart. Love is the way you live, the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you interact with every aspect of your world.

Step 3:

Start immediately. If you wait to give love until your soulmate crosses your path or wait for that "perfect" moment, then you will never give love. If nobody has broken the news about the Tooth Fairy to you yet, let me: She does not exist. Neither do perfect circumstances.

Step 4:

Give freely and eagerly. Love is not like money. Love does grow on trees. Love is plentiful. It is infinite actually. You don’t need to store your love in a locked vault and save it for one perfect purchase. Let love burn a hole in your pocket.

Step 5:

Honor all types of love. It isn’t only idealized, romantic love that leads to a marriage that lasts until death do you part that matters. Friendship love, family love, neighborly love, divine love and self love are all essential and equally important types of love.

Step 6:

Bestow genuine compliments. Every day give three thoughtful compliments, each to a different person. If you can’t find three people to sincerely compliment, open your eyes—and your heart—a little wider. Beauty, both internal and external, is abundant and worth acknowledging.

Step 7:

Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even the smallest lie erodes the foundation of love. No lasting relationship can survive lies.

Step 8:

Hug like you mean it. There is nothing worse than a side hug, a pat-pat or a hug that allows enough space for the gale force winds to blow through and knock you over. Embrace warmly and with intention.

Step 9:

Accept loved ones as they are. Nothing feels less like love than somebody who corrects, judges, critiques and tries to “improve” you. We all long to be treasured despite our flaws. Or even better, we long for our flaws themselves to be treasured. Start the cycle of acceptance by treasuring every part of every person you love.

Step 10:

Listen. Do not project your hopes onto others. Do not impose your beliefs onto their words. Listen quietly without interrupting and offering advice.

Step 11:

Remember important events. Celebrate birthdays, wish good luck before an interview, inquire about stressful meetings, offer assistance before surgery, follow-up about the loss of a pet. Showing genuine interest in the major events in the lives of those around you will endear you to them for life.

Step 12:

Call just to say I love you. Small gestures of affection toward lovers, friends, family, neighbors and coworkers can turn an average, or even awful, day into an extraordinary one.