Honeymoon Sex: Eight Adventurous Ideas

Why should your honeymoon suite get to have all the fun? Let your bride unleash her naughty side for some wild adventures. Just remember to stay observant and keep an eye out for the cops.

#1: Join the mile high club. So many people have had sex on airplanes that we’ve got a name for it. Savvy travelers know that the cramped airplane lavatory isn’t the right place for a quick shag. Spring for first class seats, especially on an international flight, and stimulate each other under a cozy travel blanket. Newer planes feature seats that fully recline into flat beds – perfect for a little marital nookie. Just keep the moans to a minimum if the passengers around you aren’t absorbed in the in-flight movie.

#2: Redefine “service” at a fancy restaurant. Book yourself a secluded table at a very fancy, “white tablecloth” establishment. In between the appetizer and the opening course, drop a utensil for a quick excuse to dive under the table. Using the thick, white fabric as camouflage, you can perform all kinds of tricks to your blushing bride.

#3: Get schooled. Relive your wildest college fantasies by paying a visit to your alma mater. University campuses are ripe with secluded areas for you and your bride to play around in, and most schools let alumni roam the grounds unattended. See what you both can learn during a quickie in the back of a lecture hall – sleepy underclassmen barely pay attention to their professor, let alone the two of you. Other low traffic areas, like library stacks or dorm laundry rooms, make great sites for collegiate quickies.

#4: Prices aren’t the only things going down at the mall. Avoid dressing areas and open spaces, unless you want horny security guards watching you on closed circuit television. Instead, dive down a corridor that’s marked “Mall Personnel Only” and live out your most sordid shopgirl fantasies. Just remember that your bride may demand a present after.

#5: Wake the dead. What better place to celebrate life than in a cemetery. Quiet, secluded, outdoors, and unlikely to attract attention, you can often get as loud as you want – evening the middle of the day. If you’re scared of ghosts, just remind yourself that you’re providing them with much needed entertainment. Besides, who are they going to tell?

#6: Shoot a hole in one. Try to score a birdie in the rough at your favorite golf course. It helps if you’re a member, but it’s even more exciting if you’re not. Plenty of public golf courses will work just fine, especially since they usually have sparse security. Enjoy the soft grass after hours if you’ve ever wanted to enjoy outdoor sex without the fuss of camping.

#7: Take the ‘O’ train. Most Americans don’t realize that you can actually rent your own private sleeper car on trains that travel across the country. Put your love in motion on an overnight trip that costs about the same as plane fare and a hotel stay. If you’re a little more adventurous, you can fool around in some of the train line’s newer, handicapped-accessible bathrooms.

#8: Make that Hummer earn its name. Treat your bride to a decadent night in a stretch Hummer limousine. Though you may have to book pretty far in advance, these luxury stretch theme park attraction-sized limousines hold twelve people comfortably. That means your vehicle will give you and your bride plenty of space to live out your wildest fantasies. Direct the driver to take a long, scenic tour of your honeymoon destination. Then raise the partition and enjoy the ride.