Girls Hate This Stuff In Bed

1. Switching Positions Every 10 Seconds

Sure, headboard banging, sheet tangling intercourse requires some manoeuvring, but most women (with the exception of contortionists) don't want to go through the entire Kamasutra in one night. “Going overboard with positions not only makes a woman feel like a circus performer, but it can also be distracting and get in the way of her orgasm,” says Nicole Beland, author of Ask The Mens Health Girl Next Door. “We need a steady, continuous motion to build up the momentum to climax. We can't reach that when we're being twisted around like a human pretzel.”

We're all for trying out different configurations, but please, give each position at least five minutes. You always have next time to try out the hanging-half-off-the-bed move you've been dying to test-drive.

2. Using Food Below The Belt

In theory, a whipped cream bikini sounds tasty, but putting anything edible “down there” could create some seriously unappetising problems. “Foods like chocolate sauce and fruit change the pH levels in a woman's genitals, which can lead to an infection,” says Dr Barbara Keesling author of The Good Girl's Guide To Bad Girl Sex Not so sexy, is it? Also avoid anything alcoholic – it doesn't tingle... it burns. A taste sensation isn't completely out of the question, though. You can use whatever sexy foods excite you, as long as it's about the waist. Or find a flavoured lubricant that's safe to use on her nether regions. Bon appetit!

3. Kneading Her Breasts

We know you don't mean to, but in the heat of the moment, you sometimes forget our breasts are capable of being as sensitive as, say, your family jewels. In other words, handle them with care and keep the groping, grabbing, twisting and yanking to a minimum. “You can actually damage breast tissue,” warns Keesling. Yes, boobies are fun to play with, but rather than work them over like a chunk of pizza dough, Beland suggests alternating between light caressing, and gently holding of your partner's breasts.

4. Having Sex In The Spa

Thanks to the steam, jets and near-naked flesh, the spa seems like an ideal place for sex. Not so. “The chlorine in a hot tub can be drying, and the water washes away a woman's natural lubrication, making sex painful for her,” says Keesling.

Plus, lubeless friction can create tiny cuts, allowing bacteria in the water to infect your girlfriend's private parts. So remember: cosy up to your partner in the water by all means, but get out of there when you're ready to go all the way.