Fabulous Foreplay To Seduce Your Lover!

Have you forgotten how to seduce your lover, or are you jumping into bed too quickly and not taking the time to make your partner feel sexy and special? Our sex and relationships expert Dr Pam has some seductive tips, tricks and techniques to try in the bedroom.

We're in so much of a hurry to jump into bed nowadays that I think we've lost the art of good old-fashioned seduction. Even if you can jump straight into bed with someone new, doesn't it lose a bit of the thrill? Doesn't at least a short period of flirting, with a slow build-up of anticipation, lead to more exciting sex? The answer is definitely Yes - you need to slowdown to seduce a lover so that they feel fabulous!

And at the other end of the scale, if you've been in a relationship for while it's easy for seduction to go out the window and sex to become just another part of your routine - no romance, no excitement and you might start to lack any interest, too!

So here are some tips, tricks and techniques to ratchet up your seduction skills to sophisticated levels.

Mind Your Language!

You can start getting someone in the mood for seduction simply by choosing your words carefully. For example, if you're out in a restaurant together and you want to say how much you're enjoying your meal choose seductive words. Instead of, "This is a great place, my meal taste nice," say something like, "what a wonderful place, my food is delicious."

Then notch this up a bit when you're talking about something else using keywords to seduce their subconscious. You can do it this way - when you use a key word in conversation touch their arm at the same time so they associate that feeling with your touch. For example, as you're having dessert you could say, "this chocolate mousse is heavenly." As you say the word "heavenly" bridge your personal spaces by touching their forearm. They'll associate you with being heavenly!

Seductive Body-language

Most people know a lot about common body-language principles - like don't cross your arms in a defensive fashion when you're trying to start conversation. But when it comes to more subtle signs it can get a bit tricky. Here are a few seductive pointers that the person you're trying to attract, or are dating, will pick up at a subconscious level:

1/ Be sure that you've got welcoming body-language by turning your upper body towards the person you're interested in.

2/ Smooth your hair with your hand in a slow, seductive way - both men and women can do this - as they'll pick this up with their subconscious. Playing with your hair or gripping your head with your hand both look nervous and defensive.

3/ Let your fingers linger around your cocktail or wineglass - you can even run them around the rim as you're talking.

4/ If you're feeling nervous resist the repetitive movements that people use to release tension like swinging their foot or fiddling with their fingers. This doesn't make someone feel comfortable in your presence. If needs be clasp your hands together to stop fidgeting and plant both feet on the floor.

5/ Draw their eye-line over your physique - a woman can do this by lightly tracing a line down her neck and across her collarbone, a man can do this by placing his hands in his pockets in a relaxed fashion.

It's terribly important that even a long-term relationship you reintroduce seductive body-language because you both are probably taking each other for granted and that will show in your body language!

Sealed With A Heavenly Kiss

Research shows me that in long-term relationships many couples give up all but the most perfunctory kissing, even during lovemaking. And when it comes to someone you've just started dating, the way you kiss can either turn them off or turn them right on! Here are some great tips to get you ready for a fabulous kissing.

1/ This may seem obvious but make sure your breath is fresh and use non-alcohol based mouthwashes as alcohol based ones dehydrate the mouth, leaving it prone to bad breath.

2/ Take it slowly when going into a kiss, and never lunge! Believe me, a person would rather anticipate the fact you're moving nearer to them than feel you're lunging at them.

3/ Loosen and relax your lips as you begin to kiss so that they don't feel hard. There's nothing worse than a "lizard-like" tongue that's sharp and pointy!

4/ Gently probe the person's tongue and lips with your tongue. If they respond well, be creative with French kissing. Use your tongue to sensually touch theirs, move it to stimulate inside their lips - a sensitive but neglected area. And then go back to sensual lip-kissing before going back to French kissing. Mixing it up like this is guaranteed to give them pleasure.

5/ If this is a first kiss with someone new and you feel things aren't going well you can always move your head slightly away and nuzzle their neckline. Once you're composed you can begin kissing again.

6/ For a really fabulous kiss, gently touch their neckline and earlobes with your fingertips as you're kissing. Then move your finger tips up to stroke the back of their head.

Fabulous Focus!

Whatever you do when you're seducing someone make sure they are the total focus of your attention. Make a big point of turning off your mobile or your BlackBerry. Turn down the ring on your land-line. And tell them nothing's going to interrupt you. Making your new lover - or your establish partner - the sole focus of your attention makes them feel special. If they think you're happy to jump up and answer your mobile, or will grab that landline when it rings, you'll never create the same effect. Plus you're missing an opportunity to make it a special event.

Dr Pam Spurr's new book "Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing And Pleasing Your Lover!" is available now.

Is something getting you down? Not sure who to turn to for help? Then let Dr Pam Guide you.