Ethnic And Cultural Wedding Traditions

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Many of you have asked for details of the various wedding traditions and customs from around the world that you can incorporate into your big day, so here are a few to get you started.

Whatever country, religious heritage or culture you wish to honour in your wedding ceremony and reception, there are some obvious places to start. Ask relatives or friends for advice and ideas and decide how far you want to carry a theme. For example, you may just want to include the jumping the broom ceremony for an African touch or you might decide to go all out with traditional costumes, food and entertainment.

Picking colours synonymous with a culture is an easy way to theme your day. For example, use the red that is traditionally good luck for Asian weddings or green to represent the Irish flag.

Base your menu around dishes familiar to a country or culture and use your menu to explain the significance of each dish. If you don’t want to confine yourself to one country then think about arranging a series of different buffet stations for your guests to sample food from around the world. You could have your favourite Indian dishes in one place, freshly baked pizzas and pasta for the Italian-lovers, exotic sushi and perhaps a mini burger bar.

Choose a motif like the Welsh dragon or Hawaiian lei to adorn your wedding stationery, have embroidered onto your dress and veil (like the bees chosen by Sarah Ferguson for her marriage to Prince Andrew) or incorporated in your headdress, you can decorate your wedding cake with it and even use the same motif for the groom’s tie, cravat or waistcoat.

Here are some specific ideas from around the world to get you thinking. I owe a big thanks for some of these ideas to the following forumites: SarahC, Paula, Jo, Elaine, OJ, SarahL, Liz, Lynne, Minna, Kate, Nadine, Mia, Deana and ClaireP. This is by no means a definitive list so please keep those suggestions coming in!

African

• The most common tradition is ‘jumping the broom’, a ritual originating from the Deep South during the American Civil War when slave weddings were not permitted and so an alternative commitment ceremony had to be found. The broom is placed on the floor and the couple jumps over it. But what does it signify? Well, there seem to be various explanations ranging from a jump from singledom into matrimony, following an African tribal marriage ritual of placing sticks on the ground representing the couple's new home or it could just be sweeping away the old and welcoming the new. A nice touch is to fill a basket with ribbon pieces for guests to tie around the broom before you begin

• In Ghana, an Asante male interested in a woman must ‘knock on the door’ so his mother and maternal uncle visit the girl's family and propose marriage

• Cowrie shells are believed to encourage fertility and so include them in a necklace or to trim your gowns and headpieces

• At the reception or outside the ceremony, pour a little wine on the ground as a libation to the gods

American

• Have another party or two in the run-up to your wedding. American brides enjoy a bridal ‘shower’ where all her girlfriends celebrate the forthcoming nuptials with themed presents, playing silly games and eating! Possible themes include bubbles and baths (anything that smells divine and can be used in the bathroom), true romance (favourite poetry, massage oils, aphrodisiac foods, in season (things appropriate to that particular season like beach towels for summer, hot chocolate for autumn, glitter balls for Christmas etc.) changing rooms (something for each room in the house) and the kitchen (guests may give you their favourite recipes or kitchen gadgets)

• Another popular party is the rehearsal dinner, usually held by the groom’s parents the night before the wedding to welcome their new family and out-of-town guests. A good way for the wedding party to get to know each other

• On the day, bridesmaids walk up the aisle in front of the bride rather than behind

• Many mothers opt to wear a wrist corsage instead of one pinned to their top or bag

• Add the garter toss to your tossing the bouquet ritual. This is when the single men are lined up to catch the bride’s garter. Yes, you’ve guessed it, the winner will be the next to marry

Hawaiian

• The lei is the Hawaiian symbol of love. During the ceremony the kahuna pule (religious man) binds the hands of the bride and groom with leis as a symbol of the couple's commitment to each other.

• Your groom should wear the fragrant maile lei entwined with pikake (white jasmine) and ilima

• A local Japanese-American custom in Hawaii is for the bride to fold 1001 origami cranes prior to her wedding for good luck, good fortune, longevity, happiness fidelity and peace. The crane is said to live for 1,000 years

Chinese

• Red is the traditional colour of luck and good fortune so many Chinese brides wear a red dress

• If that is too daring, Beloved actress Thandi Newton had beautiful red Chinese silk print dresses or ‘cheongsams’ for her bridesmaids who also wore little red thonged slippers and butterflies in their hair

• Give your bridesmaids oriental fans or Chinese lanterns to carry instead of flowers or use these as table centres

• Incorporate a red dragon motif in your wedding stationery or as a cake topper, tie design or waistcoat for your groom

• Incorporate the traditional Chinese horoscope symbol for the year of your wedding in your wedding stationery, table centres, embroidered on your dress or veil or as a cake topping. This works better in a glamorous Year of the Dragon than in a not-so-salubrious Year of the Rat!

• Find out the Chinese symbols for your names and incorporate them in your stationery or as decoration on your cake

• Use traditional jade in your jewellery or gifts to attendants

• Choose a Chinese pagoda shape cake with lotus flowers to decorate

• Hark back to your childhood party goody bags and give paper magic fish as favours or put a message of thanks into a 'red pocket' used at Chinese New Year

• Serve fortune cookies (easy to bake yourselves) filled with good wishes

• At a Chinese wedding banquet, eight dishes are usually served (not including dessert) because the word ‘eight’ in Chinese sounds like “good luck.”

• Waiters usually pass out take-out boxes to the guests because providing too much food represents abundance

• Tea is served at the reception as a sign of respect. The couple usually serves it to each relative who give jewellery and "lucky money" in return

• Fireworks and a lion dance are two Chinese traditions performed at weddings to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck

• Check a Chinese almanac for ‘auspicious dates’ for your wedding day

• Serve food that represent the joining of man and woman in marriage and include an explanation of your choices on the menu. In a Chinese marriage the dragon represents the male, whilst the phoenix is female. A wedding banquet could start with appetizers such as “dragon-phoenix” (or cold food) plates with various sliced meats, jellyfish or nuts shaped like dragons and phoenixes and served chilled. Lobster in Chinese is literally ‘dragon shrimp’ and in Chinese restaurants, chicken feet are referred to as ‘phoenix feet’

• ‘Fish’ sounds like ‘plentiful’ in Chinese so serving fish gives hope for the bridal couple to experience a life of abundance

• Noodles represent longevity in a marriage because they come in long strands!

• At dawn on her wedding day (or the night before), a Chinese bride was bathed in water infused with pumelo, a variety of grapefruit, to cleanse her of evil influences

• In olden times the groom would have dinner with the bride’s family prior to the wedding. He received a pair of chopsticks and two wine goblets wrapped in red paper, symbolic of his receiving the joy of the family in the shape of their daughter

• Sieves are symbolic because they will strain out evil. The best way we can think of including it is by tying it to the back of the wedding car along with the horseshoes and tin cans!

• Give each guest a 'name in Chinese' as a place card. These are a translation of a Western name with the meaning of the Chinese characters, and read something like, ‘your name XXX has 2 characters, XX which means joy and XX which means beauty

• Use rice instead of confetti

• Eat with chopsticks

• Use a red and gold gong to announce dinner

• Chinese Brides have to pour a cup of tea for their would-be-in-laws. If they spill any tea the marriage is off.

French

• Everything is white, from dresses to decorations so this is the perfect theme for understated elegance

• The couple drinks from a ‘coup de mariage’ wedding cup to represent their unity

• Instead of ‘decorating’ the bridal suite, French guests perform a little ‘chiverie’, which is interrupting the wedding night by clanging pots. The groom is supposed to ask the merrymakers in for refreshments but it is up to you!

• Sell sections of your veil or auction your garter at the reception

• It is traditional to sell kisses with the bride, but this could be dangerous!

• Have a croquembouche wedding cake or choose a design in the shape of the Eiffel Tower

• If the timing is right then serve Beaujolais Nouveau to represent the new life you are starting together

• Pick a French-based menu.

German

• Ask your guests to perform sketches or get other guests to join in games at the reception

• At village weddings it's common for the guests to congregate at the bride's parents' house and walk in pairs with them to the church. Any children and single couples are in the front, followed by the bride and groom and finally all the married couples

• A week or so before the wedding, a joint hen/stag night is usually held called a 'polterabend'. All the couple’s friends are invited and bring bits of crockery or porcelain to smash on the ground to bring good luck by driving away evil spirits (hence ‘poltergeist’)

• Place banknotes in flower arrangements

• Ask guests to lay fir boughs in front of you as you leave the ceremony, to pave your way with hope, luck, and fertility

• During the ceremony, when the couple kneel, the groom may kneel on the bride's hem to show that he'll keep her in line. The bride may step on his foot when she rises, to reassert herself

Greek

• Give your attendants a traditional charm in the form of a small eye that protects the wedding celebrants from bad luck

• Ask your groom to present you with your bouquet at the wedding venue

• To be sure of a sweet life, carry a lump of sugar in your glove on your wedding day

• At an Orthodox ceremony a priest will crown you and then lead you both three times around in a circle, representing eternity. You are considered married after the third circle. ‘Three’ represents the Holy Trinity, hence the crowns are swapped between your heads three times and your rings are swapped over three times

• In a similar tradition to the Italians, Greek bridesmaids may wrap almonds (a symbol of fertility) in small packages and present them to guests

• End the ceremony with honey and walnuts offered to you both on a silver spoon. Walnuts break into four parts representing the bride, groom and the two sets of family

• Use ivy in your bouquet to mimic Ancient Greek brides who saw this as a symbol of eternal love

• If you opt for any Greek tradition it is likely to be the money dance. Instead of giving gifts, your guests will pin several notes to your outfits during this almost never-ending dance!

• Ask your parents to arrange for musicians to play traditional songs as you and your groom are getting ready in your respective houses. This can often include dancing and drinking to start the festivities

• Whilst the groom is being serenaded he traditionally has a ceremonial wet shave in front of his family and well-wishers

• Apples and pomegranates are symbols of fertility so include them in your menu, bouquet or table centres

• There is a Greek pre-wedding tradition that is perfect for those wanting to start a family quickly. Babies are gently rolled on the matrimonial bed to bring fertility and happiness to the new marriage

• During the reception have a traditional plate smashing celebration. Broken plates symbolize good luck and happiness and the permanence of marriage

Hispanic

• In Spain the bride's parents are the equivalent of the best man and matron of honour

• Spanish grooms traditionally wear a tucked shirt that has been embroidered by the bride, so get stitching!

• Ask your groom to give thirteen coins to you before the ceremony as, in Spain, this symbolizes his ability to support and care for you. Carry them in a little purse or ask your bridesmaids to look after them

• It is a tradition for Spanish brides to carry scented orange blossoms in their bouquet

• In Mexican ceremonies, a rosary tied into a ‘lasso’ shape is wound around your shoulders and hands to symbolically tie you together

• Also in Mexico, a "lasso" of a very large rosary is wound around the couple's shoulders and hands during the ceremony to show the union and protection of marriage

• At a Puerto Rican wedding, a doll dressed like the bride is covered with ‘capias’ or mementos including pins with the couple's name and wedding date. The bride and groom then distribute the pins to guests as favours.

Irish

• Wear a claddagh wedding ring, which has two hands holding a heart with a crown. When the ring is turned so the hands face in, the bride is married

• In ancient Ireland it was customary for the man to give the woman he wanted to marry a bracelet woven of human hair. Her acceptance of it was symbolic of accepting the man, linking her to him for life

• In parts of Mayo and Leitrim a strange wedding dance survives with a straw mask or sometimes a straw petticoat. A band of nine "strawboys," as they are called, visits the bride's home on the wedding eve, and one dances with the bride and the rest with the other girls present

• Use the shamrock in your floral displays and as a motif for your stationery or even to decorate the edges of your wedding cake

• Serve Guinness or Murphy’s for the toasts or place jugs of them on each table

• Incorporate The Irish Wedding Song:

"Here they stand hand in hand,

They’ve exchanged wedding bands,

Today is the day of their dreams and their plans,

And all we who love them just wanted to say,

May God bless this couple who married today,

In good times and bad times in sickness and health,

May they know that riches are not needed for wealth,

And help them face problems they'll meet on their way,

Oh God bless this couple who married today,

May they find peace of mind comes to all who are kind,

May the rough times ahead become triumphs in time,

May their children be happy each day,

Oh God bless this family who started today,

As they go may they know every love that was shown,

And as life it gets shorter may their feelings grow,

Wherever they travel wherever they stay,

May God bless this couple who married today."

Italian

• In a few regions the couple shattered a vase or glass into many pieces. The number of pieces represented the expected number of years they'll be happily married to one another

• Release a pair of white doves a la Posh and Beckham to symbolize your love and happiness

• Auction off pieces of the groom’s tie

• Instead of gifts, guests will give envelopes of money

• Serve symbolic foods for good luck including twists of fried dough, powdered with sugar, called bow ties or ‘wanda’

• If you are feeling very brave then ask your guests to toss sugarcoated almonds (the original ‘confetti’) tied in mesh bags at you both to ward against childlessness

• Give five ‘bombonniere’ or sugared almond favours to each guest for good luck

• Learn how to dance the energetic tarantella as your first dance. In Italy this takes place as a traditional wedding circle dance

Japanese

• Wear a red and white kimono for luck. Japanese brides wear one or more colourful costumes during the day so it is a good excuse to change outfits!

• Incorporate cherry blossom, lotus blossom or jasmine in your flowers

• Use the ancient art of origami to create unusual invitations and place cards

• Have a dragon dance at your wedding

• Design a willow pattern wedding cake in blue and purple and lilac complete with bridge and lovers

• A Shinto-style ceremony is very traditional and incorporates the best of ancient Japanese traditions. The wedding includes only the immediate families, the nakoudo (matchmakers) and the priest. The bride wears a white kimono with an elaborate headdress while the groom wears a black kimono and jacket with a striped hakama (skirt-like pants)

• Serve wagashi (Japanese cakes) shaped into the following lucky symbols: The crane (fidelity), tortoise (long-life of the marriage) or plum blossoms (perseverance and early success). Each symbol has a special meaning

• At "Yui-no" gifts are exchanged between the bridegroom-to-be and bride-to-be. The main present for the bride-to-be is an ‘Obi’, representing female virtue whilst a ‘hakama’ skirt for the bridegroom-to-be expresses fidelity

• As with Chinese weddings, ask your bridesmaids to carry fans instead of flowers or incorporate them in your table decorations or as favours. A fan is a symbol of happiness because it expands to the end thus suggesting a better and bigger future

• Three different sizes of sake cups are exchanged nine times between a bride and groom during the ceremony before the two families join in to celebrate their union

• Use lucky red and white colours in your decor and menu

• Guests are expected to give money as gifts

• A great tradition to include for your reception is the guests' performances. Ask them to perform any dramas, skits or sing to you. But remember that forewarned is forearmed!

The Philippines

• Brides wear traditional white attire but ask your groom to wear a ‘barong’, which is a transparent button-up shirt

• Ask special friends or relatives to be your wedding sponsors by witnessing your wedding. Sponsors symbolize guidance and support at any time during the marriage

• Ask two of these to be your ‘veil sponsors’. During a specific point in the ceremony, the veil sponsors carefully pin a large veil on top of the bride's head and onto the shoulder of the groom. The veil symbolizes unity and that the couple shall be clothed as one

• Another set of sponsors are ‘cord sponsors’. After the veil is placed on both the bride and groom, they place a white cord loosely around the necks of the couple in a figure of eight to symbolize the bond between you

• At the ceremony, have a unity candle with a long stemmed candle either side for both sets of parents to light. These flames are used to light you unity to symbolizes the union of the two families

• In the ceremony, cup your hands under the groom's cupped hands so that the priest can dribble thirteen silver coins into the groom's open palms, trickling like a water falls into the brides hands, and from her palms into a plate held underneath by an acolyte. This represents a sign of fidelity and completes the marriage contract

• Enjoy the money dance (Pandango), which is similar to the Greek celebration

Polish

• As the bride, wear a wreath made from rosemary leaves to signify remembrance

• The couple's parents present them with salt and bread as symbols of bitterness and prosperity

• Learn a traditional polka or mazurka as your first dance or invite a professional ‘caller’ to teach your guests at the reception

• The sharing of the bread, salt and wine is an old Polish tradition so ask your parents to greet you with lightly salted bread and a goblet of wine. The bread symbolizes the parents' wish that their children will never be hungry, salt represents the difficulties of life and the wine expresses a wish for good health, good cheer and many friends.

• Luck comes to the bride who drinks a glass of wine at the celebration without spilling a drop so watch that steady hand!

• Add the ‘unveiling’ ritual to your reception: Everyone forms a circle around the bride. Her mother takes the bride's veil off (symbolizing the bride's becoming a woman) and places it on the head of the maid of honour who then dances with the best man for a few minutes before passing the veil to the next bridesmaid.

• Include the money dance in your reception. This is a variation on the Greek dance and is either a form of gift giving with guests pinning money on the veil, or it is a way for guests to buy a dance with the bride

Scandinavian

• Wear a jewelled crown as a symbol of bridal innocence

• As you receive your final blessings, ask your attendants to hold ‘care cloths’ over you to protect from evil

• Toast the wedding with a specially brewed beer

• Try a Swedish wedding cake, which is sponge with toffee-coloured icing

• Help your guests to mingle by partnering each male guest a female guest to look after for the evening

• Place a silver coin from your father in your left shoe and a gold coin from your mother in your right shoe and Swedish tradition says you will never go without

• The traditional Danish wedding cake is a marzipan ring cake, made of almond cake and marzipan and beautifully decorated with sugar work. It is filled with candies, almond cakes or perhaps fresh fruit and sorbet

• Use a string of Danish flags on your wedding car instead of ribbons - apparently the Danes are obsessed with their flag!

• There's also a lovely Danish tradition if the bride or groom has deceased parents, because the bride's bouquet is placed on the grave. It's not unusual to see wedding parties in a cemetery. Gone but Not Forgotten.

Scottish

• Wash your feet the night before the wedding! On the eve of a traditional Scottish Penny wedding, a ceremonial "feet washing" was held where everyone crowded around to help wash her feet. A married woman's ring was placed into the tub before the ceremony and the first person to find it was believed to be the one who would get married next

• Give the first person you see on your way to the wedding a coin and a drink of whisky. That person, called the ‘first foot’, has to join the bridal procession

• Hire a ceilidh band for a Highland dancing reception or include traditional waltzes or country-dances like the Gay Gordon

• Before you enter your new home, an oatcake or ‘bannocks’ (a biscuit made of barley and oat flour) must be broken above your head and pieces of the cake were passed around to everyone before you are carried over the threshold

• Just after you have exchanged vows, the groom can drape a shawl or sash in his clan's tartan over your shoulders

• Employ a piper to herald your exit from the ceremony or entrance to the reception

• Use thistles or tartan motifs for your wedding stationery, cake and decorations. Or, for the tongue-in-cheek, a Loch Ness Monster theme!

• Use poems from Robert Burns or your favourite Scottish writings in your ceremony

• Serve salmon or even haggis!

• Hire a bagpipe musician to play your procession and recession

Welsh

• In the past, Welsh men often spent lots of time at sea where they would carve a "love spoon" from a single piece of wood in their spare time. Each spoon had different images carved to represent promises of love, wealth, devotion or security, for example. When he returned home he would present this love spoon to the woman he wanted to marry

• Red dragons, leeks and daffodils are the most obvious symbols of Wales that are easy to incorporate in your wedding day. Use them to decorate or illustrate your wedding stationery and order of service, as cake toppers or tucked into your bouquets and floral decorations

• Baby leeks and baby daffodils make great buttonholes

• Why not give your H2B a dragon-motif tie or waistcoat to wear on the day?

• Sign the register to Calon Lan

• Use Welsh names to identify each table. Elaine is opting for a top table called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, of course!

• Anything by Tom Jones makes a fun first dance

Jewish

• At the end of the ceremony, your groom will stamp on a glass. This is to remind you of the destruction of the Temple and the fact that with happiness must come responsibility to cope with the harder times to cope

• Dance the traditional ‘hora’ celebration dance at the celebration

• Fast from first light until the ceremony under the chuppah on your wedding day (unless it is Rosh Chodesh, or the new moon). This will act like a personal Yom Kippur where you are forgiven your sins and can start married life without spiritual baggage

• Break the evening celebrations for tea, coffee and cake rather than serving them straight after the meal

• Wear a plain metal wedding band without any stones or engraving and neither of you should wear adornments under the chuppah. This is to show that you are not marrying for money or material gain

Other Asian Traditions

• If you can, include some ducks in your wedding procession because they are considered lucky in Korea as they mate for life

• Add the Korean tradition of catching coins in the bride's skirt for good fortune. Just be careful how high you lift the skirt!

• Instead of other favours, give each guest a beautifully decorated hard-boiled egg, a symbol of fertility in Malaysia

• If you want two wedding celebrations then adopt a Vietnamese tradition where one party is given by the bride's family and the other by the groom's

Other European Traditions

• After the couple are crowned in a Russian Orthodox ceremony, they race to stand on a white rug because it is said that whoever steps on it first will be the master of the household. A good incentive to get fit for the big day!

• Ukrainian couples share sacred wedding bread that is decorated with symbols that represent the union of two families and eternal love. This ‘korovai’ replaces wedding cake

• A pine tree, which symbolizes luck and fertility, is planted at a Swiss couple's new home

• Ask your guests to participate in the traditional Hungarian wedding procession, either by marching to the bride's home or escorting you to the groom's house or the venue

• If you are a Hungarian bride, then give your groom either three or seven handkerchiefs for luck and he should give you a bag of coins in return

• Guests dance with the Hungarian bride at the reception, and give small coins in exchange for a kiss.