Dating Younger Women - How To Make It Work, For You And Them

Being an older man dating a younger woman is every man’s dream isn’t it? However, even though the older man dating younger women is still seen as the social norm, with examples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones fairly commonplace, an age gap can have its own pitfalls.

The good news is, if properly prepared, there is no reason for an age gap to be an obstacle to a long and happy relationship.

If you happen to be lucky enough to meet your dream girl, whether through online dating or anywhere else, her date of birth really should be the last thing on your mind. However, for many men a younger partner is their ideal, for others it’s just the way it works out.

"If you are looking to date a younger woman to enhance your standing .... it will not work"

The most important thing when embarking on a new relationship, whatever the relative ages, is to do so for the right reasons. If you are looking to date a younger woman to enhance your standing amongst your mates or colleagues, or to prove anything to anyone else, it will not work. Any relationship should be based on mutual affection and respect otherwise one or both of you will end up getting hurt.

Dating a younger woman can be perceived as a symptom of a “mid life crisis” or an attempt to recapture your youth. Your partner may be seen as seeking financial or emotional security from an older man. Firstly, if this is not the case for you, don’t worry about other peoples perceptions. When friends and family see you treating other as equals and with respect, they will see there is a whole lot more to your relationship than a bunch of cliches.

"A common fear amongst a man dating a younger woman is that she will leave him for someone younger"

A common fear amongst a man dating a much younger woman is that she will suddenly “notice” his age and leave him for someone younger. Well the news is, she already knows how old your are, assuming you’ve been 100% truthful of course, and she’s chosen you. Don’t try to act young or dress differently to keep her. Just be yourself. After all, that’s who she fell for in the first place.

One of the biggest potential issues for an age gap relationship is that of children. You may feel that the time for kids has passed you by, particularly if you’ve had children in a previous relationship who are now grown up. However, if she has not yet had kids, there is a possibility that she may want to in the future. If you see the relationship lasting in he long term, it is important to talk about your feelings together fairly early on in your relationship. You both need to be honest about this and accept that there is no middle ground. If you both feel the same way about having children together (or not) it will be a cloud lifted. If not, it’s best to find out early on.

A fear in any relationship where there is a significant age gap is what happens when you get old first. While it is normal to feel concerned about your partner ending up as your carer while she is still in her prime, it would be sad to miss out on the happiness you could have together first because of something that might never happen. You can minimise the chances a frail old age by following all the normal advice. Eat well, exercise sensibly, drink alcohol only in moderation and give up smoking. You’ve heard it all before, but maybe your partner is the incentive you need to look after yourself as well as you can!

When you are in love with someone, superficial differences like age can be forgotten. Then there’s a reminder which brings you back to earth with a bump. You hear the theme tune to a TV program from your youth. She then points out that she stands no chance of remembering that – it was ten years before she was born. Your partner will also have fond memories of very different music from her youth than you will from yours. Don’t expect your tastes to overlap too much in these areas. Celebrate your differences and you’ll enjoy the things you do have in common all the more.

Why not read our 'first date advice ' article and see if it inspires you?

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