Antiscam

Dear Men!
The section "FAQ", which often deals with the topic "AntiScam",
only partially throws light
upon the issues we come across in our work.
In this section, I want to share with you my opinion about women-scammers.
Let us begin from the very start. Why do women-scammers appear?
The process starts with an innocent
coincidence - a lady has received some
money from a man - the money she never
expected to receive. She told her friend about
it, and the latter thought, "Why not give it a
try?" Ukraine's economy leaves much to be
desired; this fact tells on the size of a lady's
wallet, and American men have nothing
against helping a woman for whom $50-100
will be quite a good donation – that is the reason why.

Who becomes a scammer?

I can definitely say that inclination to scamming is an inborn feature. If a woman possesses this feature, nothing will stop her from taking advantage of an opportunity such as "looking for a soul mate abroad" with the purpose of improving her financial status. Much depends on a lady's background. The last example from my experience: mother is 39 and her daughter is 18. Everything started with romantic letters and phone calls to daughter, but when she received the first $100, her mother's appetite began to grow, "We will collect all gifts and engagement rings, and then we will decide whom we are going to marry" (mother's words). "BogDana" parted with these ladies, but I am not sure that they will not go to another agency or post their profiles on free dating servers. AntiScam programs accept and post data only of those scammers who have been documentarily proved as such. This is quite a job, and we are lucky that such programs exist. However, the Internet has no mechanism to prevent such cases. Anyway, even if such programs existed, I believe that there would be much incorrect information about women. Again, I would like to offer you an example from my experience. A lady goes to Kiev to meet a man. The first quarrel took place at the airport, when the lady asked him to pay for the car which had brought her from Vinnitsa to the airport. The price for the car (the driver whom knew personally had brought her to Kiev) was $40. I want to say that $40 is quite a reasonable price that includes only gas and covers wear and tear depreciation for a trip to Kiev (500km). In fact, a taxi from Vinnitsa to Kiev's airport Boryspil costs minimum $60-80, depending on the condition and type of a car. Another problem occurred in a restaurant, when the man offered the lady to pay for her meal by herself. The lady spent the night on a chair, in the kitchen of the apartment rented by the gentleman. At night, the car from Vinnitsa arrived again, and took the lady back. I do not want to dramatize the situation.

I do not mean to say that the gentleman was not right. At any rate, I was not present during their first meeting, but…if things did not work out between them, it doesn't necessarily mean that the lady has no right for the future. The man started to ask me to delete the lady's data from the agency, but I see that this lady is not shallow. I have been in constant touch with her mother.

Signs of scam

I cannot say that if you come across all the things I am going to describe, it will characterize your lady as scammer. This information is just for your analysis so that you can ask yourself the question "Whom am I dealing with?" in time.

1.A lady has a computer at home which gives her an opportunity to reply to you 1-2 times a day.
2.She has an email address such as Yahoo, Hotmail, mail.ru, free.mail etc.
3.A flattering voice on the phone.
4.Her quick reply to your question what is the best way to send her money.
5.In her letters: "I don't need anything from you. I only want to see you…"

Small scammers

In Ukraine there is a proverb, "The slower you go, the father you will come". It means that a lady who "bites less", takes fewer chances to find herself on AntiScam. That is - her business will be flourishing. Usually small scammers ask for $30-40 a month for the Internet, realizing very well that a man will not be interested to transfer less than $50 via Western Union. As there is a problem with hot water in Ukraine in summer (how will you take a shower when you come to meet her?) she may ask for $70 for a boiler which heats water. A very unusual request for a scammer, isn't it?

Honest scammers

Perhaps the title of this section may seem strange to you. How can a lady-scammer be honest?! It really seems that she can. Many men who meet ladies, talk to them on the phone, exchange gifts, etc, do not suspect that they are actually talking to scammers. In this case, it would be proper to compare a lady's activity with the work of a pilot who has managed to steer his plane in very bad weather conditions. So, what is meant by honest scammers? The lady "earns" her money sent to her by you quite honestly - she obtains visas, travels to meet you, organizes accommodation for you, excursions around Ukraine, etc.

However, she has not any serious intention to get married, and has never had any. Making an acquaintanceship of a man she makes 200-2000$, plus presents of different kinds, beginning with clothes, shoes, perfumes and home appliances, and ending with expensive engagement rings. Engagement rings? Yes, the lady receives a ring, but after 2-3 meetings with you she "starts to lose interest" in you. There can be different reasons for it - difficulties and disappointment in obtaining a visa to your country. Also, it is hard to leave her ill parents alone. Or, she can just find a small pretext which has allegedly "made her look at you and your lifestyle from a different view".

Dear men, not so long ago, I was invited to the home of a lady who has been "looking for a life partner" for more than 5 years now. Frankly speaking, the home of my family (in which both my husband and I work) leaves much to be desired in comparison with the apartment of the lonely lady.

Where are the most probable places to come across a lady-scammer?

There are 3 sources.

1.Agencies. The list of scamming agencies you can easily find on AntiScam sites (see this page) Of course one can also come across a lady-scammer at an agency with a good reputation. I have also had such a case. A man wrote me a letter saying that one of my ladies was also posted on AntiScam. I did not even know about the existence of that website. It was not really AntiScam, but the site of some American agency which had its own AntiScam page. The way out of it - to write a letter to the agency's manager. Depending on how the manager will react, you can judge about reliability of the agency.

2.Free dating servers. View reports on ladies-scammers. You will see from what sources correspondence between men and them started. Try to avoid such sources.

3.Lady has reacted to your free personal ad in Ukrainian or Russian mass media. Try to see if she has presented herself in a correct way. If a lady has sent you good professional or amateurish photos, and if her "woman's charms" (face, hair, breast, figure, legs) are shown in a skillful way…alert! In her first letter, a lady-scammer writes that she admires you already, and that she has been dreaming all her life only about you. Ladies-scammers have much correspondence and will not write to you for a long time. One-two letters, or one-two phone calls to one another… and one must get seriously ready for a meeting in France or Dominican Republic.

Agencies-Scammers

I can say with entire responsibility that the list of agencies-scammers presented on AntiScam in not complete. When a man and a woman meet through a scam-agency, they can never even suspect that this agency is a scammer. I am looking forward to a time when at least one man, after receiving a message from an agency such as "We have received the money, $2000, for the lady. We have passed it onto the lady, but unfortunately the lady ahs disappeared…." will come to the town of the agency and lady, and will try to find the lady for whom the money for a trip, let us say - to Spain, was meant. Believe me that you would be shocked to know that the lady received no money, and that she tried to find you in your country but lost all hope to find you.

What is to be done?

How can one protect oneself from such troubles?

1.If you are really serious about finding a life partner, don't think that 99% of the women at agencies are scams. I am deeply convinced that in reality one gets what one believes in. You'd better stick to the following rule "I will find my lady but I will be cautious and attentive". 2.Try to find an agency which doesn't take upon itself only the responsibility concerning payments with clients. 3.Check up on the agency even in case your lady has turned out to be a scammer. 4.No matter how exciting the prospect of helping your lady seems to be, even if she does not ask for any money from you (an experienced lady can encourage you to send her "little money" even without ever mentioning a word about it), try not to do it. There are many ways to show your feelings, without Western Union. 5.Show more interest in the lady's family. 6.Be objective to yourself and your lady