Adopting Step-Children

New marriage partners often want to adopt children from a previous relationship and take full responsibility for bringing them up.

Adoption is a legal process that requires Social Services to interview everyone concerned including the new partner, the absent parent, grandparents and children, then make a full report to the court.

What adoption means to the family

Although it may be possible to adapt fairly quickly to changes in day to day living, everyone involved will need time to adjust to the new relationships. Children should be consulted about major decisions just like any other member of the family and their feelings taken into account.

Children as young as five can have a limited understanding of what adoption means and they should be asked what they think. The Social Worker will want to speak to the child/ren on their own to find out their understanding of what is proposed for their future.

Adopted children can feel a sense of loss, not only for their absent parent, but also for their original surname, which will be changed.

What adoption means legally

Making an adoption order permanently transfers all parental responsibility to the applicants, and the child's surname is changed.

Cutting legal links between the child and the absent parent plus the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins on that side of the family.

The child will lose all maintenance and inheritance rights from that side of the family, but will have the same rights as other children born within the new marriage.

The step-parent and parent must apply jointly to adopt the child. Both applicants will therefore become the child's "adoptive parents".

How to apply

1. Ask the absent parent their views on the adoption if possible

2. Write to Bournemouth Social Services as a social worker needs to compile a report about the situation. This will involve several visits to various family members and statutory checks including police, probation, NSPCC, education etc. You need to provide full details of both applicants and the date of your marriage. You should have been married for at least one year. Also we'll need to have details of the absent parent and the child's full name and date of birth. A member of Social Services staff will be happy to meet with you to discuss the process.

3. You can then apply to the court. If the child has already been the subject of a court order, apply to the same court. If not, you can apply to your local family proceedings court (Magistrates Court) or any combined court (County Court) with divorce jurisdiction. Locally this is Bournemouth combined court. A standard fee will be charged. You may need a solicitor if the absent birth parent is contesting your action or cannot be found.

What the court might decide

The court considers the best interests of the child and may decide that a different arrangement to adoption is preferable.

One or more of the following order may be made, even though your application was for adoption:

Residence order: This decides who the child will live with. If that person or their partner is not the child's birth parent they will be given parental responsibility (shared with those who already have it) which provides almost all the same rights in law as the birth parents.

Exceptions to this are the rights to agree to the child's adoption and to appoint a guardian to continue after the death of the person.

Also, unless the court allows, the child cannot be given a new surname or taken to live permanently abroad unless all those who have parental responsibility agree.

Contact Order: This defines who can visit, telephone or write to the child.

Specific Issue Order: This decides on one particular aspect of the child's future - schooling for example.

Prohibited Steps Order: This prevents someone from doing something with the child that has not been agreed by all those with parental responsibility.

Please remember that it would be unusual for the court or Social Services to support a step-adoption where the child is still in contact with both birth parents.