5 Most Popular Reasons For Family Quarrels

Unfortunately, few married couples reflect on origin of their quarrels and misunderstandings. And after all their reasons are banal and traditional, they repeat from a family to a family, from generation to generation. Do you want to avoid such fate? Everything is in your hands!

So, the most frequent reasons for family quarrels are:

1. Elementary disrespect, offences, insults of self-respect from other partner. Prosecution and mistrust to loved ones, pathological jealousy.

2. Conflicts, arising because expected does not correspond to reality. Dissatisfaction of sexual requirements can be included here too. Lack of positive emotions, tendernesses and participations in marriage.

3. Low romantic spirit in a family. Loss of husband’s courtings in home life. Loss of feelings of love and flirtation between spouses. Destruction of a certain romantic secret in relations.

4. Disagreements on not harmonious and unfair division of one of spouses’ contribution in house work and self-service. Various understanding of rights and duties. Overestimated requirements to another person.

5. Inability to spend free time, monotonous evenings, empty days off. Holidays on the single. Therefore rituals and traditions are very important in home life.

Conflict is foreordained?

When two different persons married, they thereby put a conflict situation. Owing to their pre-marriage experience, they had different views, own habits. And attempt to unite it in one union should encounter a conflict. And only reasonable understanding of the present will allow to search for ways of decision of it.

The given problems are solved, if spouses consider these difficulties not as consequence of own inconsistency, or partner lacks, but as an objective reality. And these grindings in a harmonious union cause not quarrels, but dispute.

Argue – just do not quarrel

And here it is necessary to distinguish a quarrel and a dispute. In dispute sides treat each other faithfully. But when a dispute passes on a person, a quarrel starts, where a primary goal is breaking a contender, humiliate him as a person. It is Pyrrhic victory, in which you remain in loss.

Dispute is a statement of arguments in favour of one of possible positions, and different emotions can be present here, the aim is to find a compromise. Certainly, coordination of positions demands strong-willed efforts, which should constrain irritation and discontent reactions. And you need to find time on this. However, these are not “expenses”, but investments into the future, they pay back themselves.

Quarrels generated by aspiration to suppress a partner, inevitably leave a negative trace in emotional memory of a family. Also these are those mines, that can undermine your relations in future.

Innuendo is worse than death for marriage

Matrimony in which both partners speak openly about their experiences, express their wishes clearly, tell about their ups and downs, - is usually happy.

But we are subject to stereotypes of behaviour so often. Instead of telling our loved about things that disturb and irritate us, we: clap a door, cry, suffer from migraine attacks … A wife’s pans rumbling in a kitchen, is read by her husband as discontent because he was late from work ostensibly.

And here this innuendo forces a partner to finish thinking, what causes the conflict. Maybe it is better to admit your own mistakes and explain him his ones (carefully)? Then the reason of the conflict becomes known and, hence, you know what to struggle with. Therefore communicate, talk, be frank – just do not keep everything inside of you!